Mourning the loss of 20,000 words

I was doing some work last week formatting my manuscript. As I read the expanded version, I decided that I really didn't like it very much. The parts I added were alright, but they just didn't add to the story, they changed the mood of the whole manuscript, and I really don't want that. I liked the story as it was. I'm facing the realization that I wrote 20,000 words for nothing (other than the experience of writing them).

So, where does that leave me? I haven't heard back yet from the publisher looking at my story, so that is still a hope. If that falls through, I'm not sure what to do. Unless a story is 80,000 words, an agent won't go near it. I'm praying about the whole situation. I guess my best hope is to start another story, but honestly, I am a bit tired at the moment. It is both emotionally exhilarating and emotionally exhausting to write a fiction piece of length. I need a bit of a breather. Plus, a new idea would be helpful. Therefore, I am keeping my ears and eyes open for a source of inspiration - hopefully, something that I could actually write 80,000 words about (a feat I have never accomplished).

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